England v Australia, Fourth Test, Day Two

England v Australia, 3rdd Innings, Headingley, Day Two, Stumps

England 102 & 82/5
Australia 445

England 2nd Innings

Johann Strauss lbw The House of Hilf 32

Captain Cook c Has-Been Haddin b Mitchell's Johnson 30

The Big Bopara lbw The House of Hilf 0

Ding Dong Bell c Little Captain Punter b Mitchell's Johnson 3

Paul Collingwood, MBE lbw Mitchell's Johnson 4

James Christian Anderson not out 0

Matt 'Richard' Prior not out 4

Extras (lb 3, nb 6) 9

Total (5 wickets, 32 overs) 82

Let's assume that Little Captain Punter fails to bollocks this up and that the Australians go to the final Test 1-1. Foolish, perhaps, to underestimate the Australian captain. But I'm in a foolish mood.

Presumably there will be much joy from the Aussies in keeping the series alive for the final Test. But not from me. Because, let me remind you once more, Little Captain Punter. If you'd used your attack properly in Cardiff, the Ashes would be over, man. Your team would be 2-1 up and that would be emphatically that.

This is not a triumph. This is just a grim reminder of previous foolishness.