England v Australia, Fourth Test, Day One

England v Australia, 2nd Innings, Headingley, Day One, Stumps

England 102
Australia 196/4

Australia 1st Innings

Cryin' Shane Watson lbw Mr Lily Allen 51
Simon 'Handbrake' Katich c The Big Bopara b Harmison 0
Little Captain Punter lbw Broad 78
Mr Cricket lbw Broad 10
Michael 'Pupshark' Clarke not out 34
Magnetic Marcus North not out 7

Extras (b 9, lb 3, w 2, nb 2) 16

Total (47 overs, 4 wickets) 196

Wow! The 90's Poms are back. And not a moment too soon. But, seeing as we still have the '09 Aussies, the game's not over yet.

Clearest sign we are no longer witnessing the great Australian teams of the past: Little Captain Punter giving Johann Strauss permission to delay the toss by ten minutes so they could check on the back of Matt 'Richard' Prior. In the old days, the Aussies would have denied permission and if the Poms complained, saying 'but we let you replace Haddin last game', there would have been laughing and snickering and 'aren't you guys idiots, then?'.

Remember, Little Captain Punter. The entire cricketing world thinks the Australian cricket team are the world's biggest douchebags. There's no point trying to prove otherwise. Make the most of it, man!

Bonus Question of the Day: How on Earth will the selectors justify not selecting Stuart 'Don't Call Me Michael' Clark for the first three Tests of the series? Show your working.