IPL Matches Thirty-One Through Thirty-Five - Match Reports

It just keeps going and going and going...

Match 31: Chennai Super Kings v Kings XI Punjab - First hat-trick of the IPL, thanks to Lakshmipathy Balaji (who I might, inexplicably, just call BJ), whose five wickets ensured a Super Kings victory.

Match 32: Deccan Chargers v Kolkata Knight Riders - Knight Riders back on track, thanks to a Sourav Ganguly blasterclass (91 off 57 balls). The most exciting thing about the run chase? The 71 off 42 balls from Rao. Not because it kept the Chargers in the run chase. Just because 'Rao' was the name of the red sun around which the planet Krypton orbited. Right, Supes?



Match 33: Rajasthan Royals v Delhi Daredevils - I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that Cryin' Shane Watson is an IPL powerhouse. Because that way lies madness. Nevertheless, he somehow fluked 74 off 40 balls and took 2/21 off his 4 overs to give the Rajasthan Royals yet another victory.

Match 34: Kings XI Punjab v Bangalore Royal Challengers - Another Bangalore Royal Challengers game, another thrashing (even without Jacques).

Match 35: Kolkata Knight Riders v Delhi Daredevils - And Shoaib is here, blasting out the Delhi Daredevils' top order, to give the Knight Riders another victory.

Table so far:

Rajasthan 14 points
Punjab 12 points
Chennai 12 points
Kolkata 10 points
Delhi 8 points
Mumbai* 6 points
Deccan 4 points
Bangalore 4 points

* For some reason, Mumbai are two games played behind everybody else. To which I say: Merciful Rao!

IPL Matches Twenty-Three Through Thirty - Match Reports

I've been out of internet access for a few days and look at all the big names I've missed out on reporting on: Pollock, Warne, Kallis, Gilchurch, Tendulkar, Duckworth, Lewis and, uh, Tanvir and Morkel. Let's catch up then, shall we?

Match 23: Mumbai Indians v Delhi Daredevils - Shaun Pollock steps up. Well, I suppose it was always more likely than Jaques Kallis doing so. Anyways, the Mumbai Indians smack some sense into the Delhi Daredevils, winning by 29 runs.

Match 24: Rajasthan Royals v Chennai Super Kings - Four overs, six wickets, fourteen runs. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sohail Tanvir. SMS Warne's Rajasthan Royals do it again.

Match 25: Bangalore Royal Challengers v Kings XI Punjab - see? Told you Kallis wouldn't step up. Jacques gets a duck as the Bangalore Royal Challengers Test lineup go down again.

Match 26: Chennai Super Kings v Deccan Chargers - A bit more Adam Gilchurch tonking and the Chargers cruise home.

Match 27: Mumbai Indians v Rajasthan Royals - Whoa! What was that? The Rajasthan Royals crumble, train wreck-style. Wow! Just having Sachin in the bunker brings the Mumbai Indians to life.

Match 28: Delhi Daredevils v Chennai Super Kings - One big batting over from a man named Albie Morkel gets the Chennai Super Kings' run chase on track and they scrape home off the last ball (despite a diving attempt for a miracle tie-inducing catch).

Match 29: Kolkata Knight Riders v Bangalore Challengers - Rain! Awesome. What 20/20 clearly needs is Duckworth and Lewis joining in the fun. Alas, not to be in this game, with it reduced to a 16 over affair each. The Royal Challengers turn out to be not much better at 16/16 than they are at 20/20, with the Knight Riders winning by five runs.

Match 30: Rajasthan Royals v Deccan Chargers - Gilchurch has another tonk at the top of the Deccan innings. But it's not enough, with the Royals easily running down the meagre 140 total.

Tanvir and Morkel. Morkel and Tanvir. I just love saying their names.

IPL Matches Sixteen Through Twenty-Two - Match Reports

Games are starting to blur now... but, let's see what we can remember:

Match 16: Kolkata Knight Riders v Mumbai Indians - Knight Riders fail to post anything decent and the Mumbai Indians cruise past them. Yawn.

Match 17: Delhi Daredevils v Bangalore Royal Challengers - A more interesting game, as Gambhir led the Daredevils to a near-200 total. Ooh-Ah Glenn McGrath and Daniel 'Harry' Pettori then shut down the run chase.

Match 18: Rajasthan Royals v Kolkata Knight Riders - SMS Warne and Ganguly traded insults, as you'd expect, with Warne, hilariously, cranky that Ganguly didn't walk when Honest Graeme Smith claimed a catch. Apparently, only Australian batsmen are permitted to stand their ground. Didn't really matter, though, with the Royals crushing the Knight Riders by 50-odd runs.

Match 19: Deccan Chargers v Kings XI Punjab - Shaun 'Mini-Swampy' Marsh emerged from nowhere to lead the Kings XI to a successful run chase of the Deccan Chargers' poor total of 164. What would Mini-Swampy's father (Geoff 'Original Swamp Thing' Marsh) say? He used to take 20 overs to settle himself in when playing the anchor role in Australia's mid-80s ODI team. Just the thought of scoring 84 off 62 balls would have been enough to give the old man a heart attack.

Match 20: Chennai Super Kings v Delhi Daredevils - Sehwag goes ballistic and the Daredevils easily chase down the Super Kings. Also, Ooh-Ah Glenn McGrath seems to have no idea about this 20/20 game, sending down his 4 overs for 1/21. Come on, Glenn. Get with the program.

Match 21: Bangalore Royal Challengers v Deccan Chargers - Battle of the cellar-dwellers, as Kumble holds his nerve in the final over to help the Challengers scrape home against the Chargers.

Match 22: Kings XI Punjab v Kolkata Knight Riders - The Knight Riders continue to plummet down the table, this time losing to the Kings XI by 9 runs, despite the best efforts of David 'Young Master Cricket' Hussey.

Table's quite cramped at the top now, with Delhi, Chennai and Rajasthan all on eight points from five games. Despite this, Delhi has no friends in my IPL poll. Personally, I blame Ben Affleck. Who can take Daredevils seriously after him?

Harbhajan Banned For Rest Of IPL Season

Well, Harbhajan's slap on Cryin' Sri Sreesanth has turned out to be more expensive than most, with an 11-13 match ban slapped back on him. Ouch!

In actual match news,

Match 13: Kings XI Punjab v Delhi Daredevils - the Handbrake comes off! Simon 'Handbrake' Katich smashes 75 off 52 balls to lead a successful run chase for the Kings XI. Cryin' Shane Watson and Simon 'Handbrake' Katich both doing well? This 20/20 game is sheer madness. (Although, I must confess I did get a little excited earlier in the week when I saw this misleading headline.)

Match 14: Mumbai Indians v Deccan Chargers - Adam Gilchurch comes good. 'Nuff said.

Match 15: Bangalore Royal Challengers v Chennai Super Kings - The Royal Challenger fell short of the Chennai Super Kings total, despite needing only 77 off the last 9 overs with 8 wickets in hand. Still, I guess that's what happens when you have Jacques Kallis doing his 'let's bat sensibly now' thing in the middle order. Come on, Jacques! If the Handbrake can speed things up, anybody can. Super Kings are now the only undefeated team. Wonder if we'll start to see some more love for them in the poll.

The Tears Of Sreesanth

Of course, all the IPL talk has been overshadowed by reports of Harbhajan Singh allegedly slapping Shanthakumaran Sreesanth after the Kings XI Punjab-Mumbai Indians game the other day, allegedly reducing the fast bowler to alleged tears. The BCCI have 'slapped a ban' on Harbhajan until they can speak to Sachin Tendulkar and ask if he saw or heard anything.

"As we learned earlier in the year in the 'Monkey Magic' case," said a BCCI spokesman. "The only way of truly knowing whether Harbhajan is guilty of any alleged behaviour is to ask The Little Master. If he saw or heard anything, then Harbhajan will be punished to the full extent of the law. If not, then Bhaji is free to carry on behaving like a lunatic. Sorry, alleged lunatic."

In match news, a couple of bowling-led thumpings:

Match 11: Chennai Super Kings v Kolkata Knight Riders - The Hoff's men collapsed in a pitiful heap, helped magnificently by Little Captain Punter, out first ball like an idiot. The Super Kings sauntered to the victory target of 148 in typically super fashion.

Match 12: Rajasthan Royals v Bangalore Royal Challengers - A truly regal battle this one, but in the end SMS Warne's team cruised past the distinctly unchallenging Bangalore total of 135. Man of the Match: Cryin' Shane Watson?! Again!! Weird. He couldn't hang around to accept his award however, as he had to immediately head off for an emergency sobbing tutorial with Sreesanth.

IPL Matches Seven Through Ten - Match Reports

Match 7: Deccan Chargers v Delhi Daredevils - Sehwag does his thing, blasting 94 off 41 balls to give the Daredevils victory with, uh, seven overs to spare.

Match 8: Chennai Super Kings v Mumbai Indians - Now this is more like it. The Super Kings, led by Big Matt 'Pillar of Strength' Haydos (81 off 46 balls) amass 208 off their 20 overs and just manage to hold the Indians at bay, as they fall one big shot short on 202.

Match 9: Deccan Chargers v Rajasthan Royals - Game of the series so far, with the Royals chasing down the Chargers' total of 214 with one ball to spare. Any game that ends with Andrew 'Roid' Symonds v SMS Warne in the final over with 15 runs needed for victory has got to be a good game. The fact it was Warne the batsman v Symonds the bowler made it that much more entertaining, because, heck, who doesn't like borderline incompetence in the basic skills of cricket. And, please, can we now stop calling Symonds (6.5 overs, 0-101, 12.9 runs per over) an all-rounder. Ta, muchly.

Match 10: Kings XI Punjab v Mumbai Indians - Sangakarra went the tonk, Indians went to pieces. Punjab wins comfortably. Wake me for Match 11.

I see by the poll to the right that most people are fans of The Hoff's Knight Riders to win the thing. Me? I'm leaning to the Daredevils myself. But, hey, only because I want to see them play the final in this costume:


And, yes, ideally they'll play on a cricket ground on fire. It's called entertainment, people!

IPL Matches Two Through Six - Match Reports

Boy, it's easy to fall behind following this IPL thingummy, innit?

You miss a few days and look what happens:

Match 2: Kings XI Punjab v Chennai Super Kings - You sensed the Kings XI were in trouble before a ball was bowled, with 'Super Kings' easily trumping 'Kings XI' in the name stakes. Expect the Kings XI to be renamed as 'Mega-Ultra Kings' for the return fixture. Mr Cricket went ballistic in his usual understated fashion to help the Super Kings to a score of 240/5. Impressively, the Kings XI did quite well in the chase. Until Simon 'Handbrake' Katich entered the arena and brought things to a screeching, skidding halt.

Match 3: Delhi Daredevils v Rajasthan Royals - From an Australian perspective, a battle of the bowling has-beens. From everybody else's perspective, a really tedious game, with McGrath and the rest of the Daredevils smashing Warne's Royals.

Match 4: Kolkata Knight Riders v Deccan Chargers - The game I was most excited about, with Adam Gilchurch and Andrew 'Roid' Symonds facing off against Little Captain Punter. A perfect opportunity for sledging aplenty. Unfortunately, given the state of the pitch, everybody (including Very Very Special Laxman) spent all their energy sledging the groundsman instead. Oh, and the Knight Riders won again.

Match 5: Mumbai Indians v Bangalore Royal Challengers - Best game so far. Not as high-scoring as some others, but nice and close with the Challengers scraping home with a couple of balls to spare. Also, somebody finally sconed Dominic Thornely on that goofy melon of his. About time too, I say. Well done, Zaheer 'Wrath of' Khan.

Match 6: Rajasthan Royals v Kings XI Punjab - Cryin' Shane Watson was the hero of this particular game, leading the Royals to an easy victory. Cryin' Shane Watson, people! What kind of zany, messed up kind of cricket is this??